Baykal vodka

titties on YouTube

This is a review of Baikal vodka from Russia. I sampled it in Germany in 2011. It’s clear, 40% alcohol, and I thought it was awesome and so was its commercial.

This one is called Baikal vodka (Байкал), and I’m going to come right out and say it: it has a commercial that is both the best and the worst ever. I’m not kidding. I hope it’s still online when you’re reading this text. But let’s look at their official website first.

the website

So it’s 2021, and Baikal vodka’s website looks like that of a normal vodka brand. You might even call it sophisticated:

Baikal vodka website

They make a point of the water quality. Apparently they get it from a depth of 500m down in Lake Baikal:

Baikal vodka website

The water is supposedly pure and rich in oxygen, and the vodka is being marketed as organic:

Baikal vodka website

One odd thing is that they apparently ship the water from Lake Baikal over thousands of kilometers to a distillery near the Volga:

Baikal vodka website

But that’s okay, right?

the commercial

Okay, so here’s the commercial you’ve been waiting for. I found it back in 2011 when I was writing the original review of Baikal vodka. It is literally the only YouTube video that I know of where you will see titties. You ready?

Here’s the video:


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I hope it’s still there. If not, let me give you some stills along with a short synopsis.

So first, there is this dude in a helicopter, flying to Lake Baikal. Let’s call him heli-bro:

Baikal vodka commercial

So heli-bro jumps off over the frozen lake and transforms into ice-hacking-bro:

Baikal vodka commercial

At some point he removes his clothes. Then naked ice-hacking-bro does more ice-hacking:

Baikal vodka commercial

But wait! Ice-hacking bro has just dived into the hole that he hacked and become underwater-bro:

Baikal vodka commercial

Kinda boring so alone in the water of Lake Baikal, don’t you think, underwater-bro?

Baikal vodka commercial

Well, don’t you worry! Some ladies have been waiting for you in the water:

Baikal vodka commercial

Pretty soon underwater-bro finds himself surrounded by giggling naked women in the water. He transforms into happy-bro:

Baikal vodka commercial

The giggling gets louder and turns into climactic moaning, upon which happy-bro emerges from the water:

Baikal vodka commercial

YEEEEEAAAAAH happy-bro screams, becoming his final incarnation screaming-bro, and then he laughs AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

Baikal vodka commercial

Or maybe in the end he was haha-bro, I’m not sure.

Either way this is Baikal vodka:

Baikal vodka commercial


Baikal vodka does some things right

Having watched what was both the best and the worst commercial of all time, I was in love with this vodka before I had even tasted it. So I told myself to calm down. I shouldn’t let underwater-titties fool me, I had to remain neutral during the tasting process.

And it turned out that Baikal vodka tasted very good. It was smooth, maybe not precisely as smooth as Grey Goose or Belvedere, but smooth nonetheless. And the aftertaste was original and pleasing.

What do I mean when I say aftertaste, by the way? It’s what happens when you breathe out through your nose after taking a sip of vodka and your head fills with an aroma. Baikal vodka does that pretty well.

The bottle looked good to me, only the price of 19€ for 700ml seemed a bit steep – but then I guess someone had to pay for that helicopter ride.

growing up?

All in all, I’m not sure what’s happening. It seems as though Baikal vodka is changing its brand image. No more bros in the water. No more titties. Now it’s the quality of the water and Russia’s FIRST ORGANIC VODKA.

Either way it tastes very good, and I wholeheartedly recommend it.