the name
This is a review of Russian Billionaire Elite Club vodka from Estonia. I sampled it in Germany in 2014. It’s clear, 40% alcohol, and I thought it was alright but overpriced.
What a name. Really, what a name: Russian Billionaire Elite Club vodka. This stuff had me laughing for a long time, and not because I was drunk. Russian Billionaire Elite Club vodka. LOL. And the fact that it wasn’t even from Russia but from Estonia seemed like a masterpiece of alcoholic trolling if there ever was one.
I couldn’t say no to this.
the phantom
Trying to research this stuff was a bit weird. I had somehow been expecting a brand like Russian Billionaire Elite Club vodka to have a very fancy website, or at least an ordinary website. Or at the very least an Instagram account. But there was nothing. Zilch. Nada.
Most online shops I found didn’t even have it in stock anymore:
Will we ever know what happened?
that billionaire feeling
So let’s look at the bottle then. The label puts it in very direct terms: NIL SATIS NISI OPTIMUM – “nothing but the best is good enough”. This is the motto of Everton FC, which is owned by Farhad Moshiri, a British-Iranian billionaire and a friend of Alisher Usmanov, who is one of the richest Russian oligarchs and a favorite of that motherfucker Putin. Billionaire energy, I guess.
But there is more. The bottle also says: BE YOURSELF – BE BOLD – BE FIRST – BE DIFFERENT – BECOME A BILLIONAIRE. This would have been cool had the box that the bottle came in not been damaged during shipping. Some of my freshly attained billionaire-feeling evaporated before I had even tasted the stuff.
I wondered what a Russian Billionaire from an Elite Club would have said if he got a bottle in a damaged box? The correct answer is: иди на хуй!
the awkward Russian Billionaire Elite Club review
The somehow surprising thing about this review of Russian Billionaire Elite Club vodka is that it actually tastes pretty good. It’s no Belvedere, no. But it’s very mild and just a tiny bit sour. Definitely an easy drink. The aftertaste is not very lasting or heart-warming, but it still tastes like a high-quality vodka.
The bottle is pretty neat. It doesn’t exactly have a very luxurious feel to it, but maybe that’s just part of the joke. Here’s the downside though – and you’ve probably already guessed it: you won’t become a billionaire by routinely forking out 40€ for 700ml of vodka.
Good vodka, awesome brand name, silly price.