This is a review of Russian Billionaire Elite Club vodka from Estonia. I sampled it in Germany in 2014. It’s clear, 40% alcohol, and I thought it was alright but overpriced.
What a name. Really, what a name: Russian Billionaire Elite Club vodka. This stuff had me laughing for a long time, and not because I was drunk. Russian Billionaire Elite Club vodka. LOL. And the fact that it wasn’t even from Russia but from Estonia seemed like a masterpiece of alcoholic trolling if there ever was one.
I couldn’t say no to this.
Trying to research this stuff was a bit weird. I had somehow been expecting a brand like Russian Billionaire Elite Club vodka to have a very fancy website, or at least an ordinary website. Or at the very least an Instagram account. But there was nothing. Zilch. Nada.
Most online shops I found didn’t even have it in stock anymore:
Will we ever know what happened?
that billionaire feeling
So let’s look at the bottle then. The label puts it in very direct terms: NIL SATIS NISI OPTIMUM – “nothing but the best is good enough”. This is the motto of Everton FC, which is owned by Farhad Moshiri, a British-Iranian billionaire and a friend of Alisher Usmanov, who is one of the richest Russian oligarchs and a favorite of that motherfucker Putin. Billionaire energy, I guess.
But there is more. The bottle also says: BE YOURSELF – BE BOLD – BE FIRST – BE DIFFERENT – BECOME A BILLIONAIRE. This would have been cool had the box that the bottle came in not been damaged during shipping. Some of my freshly attained billionaire-feeling evaporated before I had even tasted the stuff.
I wondered what a Russian Billionaire from an Elite Club would have said if he got a bottle in a damaged box? The correct answer is: иди на хуй!
Russian Billionaire Elite Club is better than I thought
The somehow surprising thing about this review of Russian Billionaire Elite Club vodka is that it actually tastes pretty good. It’s very mild and just a tiny bit sour. Definitely an easy drink. The aftertaste is not very lasting or heart-warming, but it still tastes like a high-quality vodka.
The bottle is pretty neat. It doesn’t exactly have a very luxurious feel to it, but maybe that’s just part of the joke. Here’s the downside though – and you’ve probably already guessed it: you won’t become a billionaire by routinely forking out 40€ for 700ml of vodka.
Good vodka, awesome brand name, silly price.